LOS ANGELES—In what is being criticized as an excessive, militaristic show of force, the Los Angeles Police Department (LAPD) deployed a fleet of helicopters and armored SWAT vehicles today in a tactical mission to hunt down easter eggs rumored to be hidden throughout the city. “These easter eggs cannot remain hidden forever—they will be found, and they will be captured,” said LAPD Chief Michel Moore, defending the department’s actions as armed officers embarked on a scorched-earth citywide search, using tear gas to clear public parks and leveraging helicopter surveillance to aerially search for the eggs. “Hiding eggs around LA and wasting department manpower and resources to find them is a cowardly act, and not only will we recover every single one of these eggs; we will find and apprehend the perpetrator of this unlawful scavenger hunt.” At press time, LAPD had begun arresting all rabbits that vaguely resembled the Easter Bunny, sparking widespread outrage and raising questions of profiling.