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Author: Jenny Harper

Apple Watch to Now Track Daily Shortcomings

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CUPERTINO—Apple, Inc. announced a new software update for the Apple Watch that will enable the wearable device to […]

Jenny Harper June 24, 2021 National, News, News in Brief, Science & Technology, Uncategorized

Twitter Bot Has Opinion on Stranger’s Genitals for Some Reason

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UNITED STATES—Twitter bot @EagleMan4USA opined on a stranger’s genitals this week for unknown reasons. “Wh at in pants? […]

Jenny Harper April 5, 2021 News, News in Brief, Science & Technology

Health Officials Warn Against Gathering to Celebrate Ides of March

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LOS ANGELES—At a press conference this week, Los Angeles County Health Director Dr. Barbara Ferrer warned the public […]

Jenny Harper March 12, 2021 Local, News, Science & Technology

Daily Neighborhood Walk Interrupted by Daily Sense of Existential Dread

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HERMOSA BEACH—In an effort to achieve her daily step count, South Bay resident Sydney Copeland took her routine […]

Jenny Harper March 3, 2021 Local, News

KFC Releases Lenten Menu

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Jenny Harper March 2, 2021 News, News in Picture

The American Rescue Plan to Now Include Bare Minimum

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WASHINGTON, D.C.—President Biden’s American Rescue Plan, which passed the House late Friday night and has been sent to […]

Jenny Harper February 28, 2021 National, News, Politics

Study: New COVID Variant An Asshole

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WESTWOOD—The new coronavirus variant B.1.427 that recently emerged in Southern California has been deemed an “asshole” by a […]

Jenny Harper February 23, 2021 Local, News, Science & Technology

LADOT to Begin Ticketing Residents Not Hitting Daily Step Count

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LOS ANGELES—The Los Angeles Department of Transportation announced at a press conference this week that starting next Tuesday, […]

Jenny Harper February 16, 2021 Local, News

LA County Reopens Outdoor Morgues, Restaurant Dining

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LOS ANGELES COUNTY—The Los Angeles County Board of Directors voted last week to reopen the county’s outdoor morgues […]

Jenny Harper February 11, 2021 Local, News

Work Happy Hour Zoom Actually Just Meeting

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SILVER LAKE—An area consulting firm’s happy hour transitioned into an hour-long department project sync this week, according to […]

Jenny Harper February 10, 2021 Local, News

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