WASHINGTON, D.C.—House Speaker Nancy Pelosi visibly held back tears today as she abruptly departed from her prepared remarks to perform the “Cha-Cha Slide,” in a move a spokesperson from her office called “a powerful display of protest against the Supreme Court’s assault on women’s rights.” “There is no point in saying good morning, because it isn’t one. All there really is to say is… sliiiiiiide to the LEFT!” said Pelosi, working hard to maintain her composure as she danced to the early 2000s song that has become a mainstay at middle school dances throughout the country. “The Supreme Court may take away our rights, but I promise you this: they will not break our spirit. Now, to quote the great songwriter DJ Casper, ‘cha-cha real smooth.’” Pelosi’s sentiment was echoed later by Vice President Kamala Harris, who, when asked about the Supreme Court’s overturning of Roe v. Wade, said, “this is one of those days where you really just need a margarita, am I right,” adding that she was so outraged that she might need “two margaritas.”