SEATTLE, WA—In light of public outcry over Amazon’s alleged substandard working conditions, such as delivery drivers being forced to urinate in bottles and defecate in plastic bags in order to meet quotas, Amazon Senior Vice President of Global Affairs Jay Carney sought to alleviate concerns about the company’s labor practices by posting a tweet Tuesday claiming that delivery drivers’ designated urine bottles are cleaned daily. “First off, the notion that we do not provide clean, sanitary plastic bottles for our workers to piss in is flat out wrong,” said Carney, whose tweet included a detailed diagram showing Amazon’s robust 3-step cleaning process for each worker’s bottle as well as before-and-after photos of a sample bottle. “Moreover, to reward our drivers’ hard work, we will be phasing out the Dasani bottles and rolling out a line of state-of-the-art Fiji bottles for them to urinate in while providing the quick deliveries and excellent customer service that Amazon prides itself in.” In a follow-up tweet, Carney announced that in an effort to be more environmentally conscious, Amazon would be replacing delivery drivers’ plastic defecation bags with sustainable paper ones.