Biden Announces Ambitious Plan to Circle Back

WASHINGTON, D.C.—President Joe Biden this morning announced his ambitious “Saving America’s Soul” plan, which aims to circle back and determine concrete policy in a few years. “The American people are facing unprecedented hardships by no fault of their own, which is why I have established a task force that will circle back with a plan, I hope, by 2023,” said Biden, who is facing backlash from Republicans and moderate Democrats who believe he is trying to circle back too soon and favor a longer circle back. “People are struggling and, you know, someone’s gotta fix it, and I don’t know how, but my advisors said to me: Joe, policy doesn’t grow on trees, and the American people are just going to have to be a little patient while we circle back.” Following his announcement, sources reported that Biden was considering delaying the circling back until he could get Republicans to join in order to circle back in a bipartisan manner, so that the country can, in Biden’s words, “circle forward together.”