WESTWOOD—In anticipation of Super Bowl Sunday, UCLA researchers issued a press release regarding their latest breakthrough discovery that the novel coronavirus is able to survive in the first five layers of the 7-layer dips likely to be present at your Super Bowl party this Sunday. “We initially hypothesized that the 7-layer dip would have sufficient acidity to prevent a significant viral load from accumulating, but given these findings, people are going to need to be especially on the lookout for any double dippers,” said James Gonzales, MD, the current research chair of UCLA’s coronavirus task force. “This means that the superficial jalapeño, black olive, queso, pico de gallo, and sour cream layers will likely all be compromised by the end of the first quarter. If you want to stay safe, we recommend sticking to the refried bean and guacamole layers.” Meanwhile, the task force is still awaiting the results of a clinical trial studying how much virus can you ingest with a single Tostitos Scoops! chip.