Experts Bewildered by Area Man Who Follows All COVID-19 Guidelines

WESTWOOD—UCLA Health researchers expressed bewilderment and awe this week over local software engineer Jason Allen, who has been observed to perfectly heed all local COVID-19 guidelines, a novel behavior not previously seen in nature.

“It is simply remarkable and offers us hope that there is something in the human DNA that can trigger adherence to public health guidelines,” said UCLA Geffen School of Medicine Dean Dr. Kelsey C. Martin, adding that the discovery of Allen has been a breakthrough after months of examining individuals who are, for various reasons, compelled to violate one or several COVID-19 guidelines on a regular basis. “We see that he always wears a tight-fitting mask covering both his mouth and his nose; does not engage in nonessential travel or attend large indoor social gatherings; and always practices social distancing from others. The question, now, is why? Perhaps a genetic mutation? We just don’t know yet, but these observations alone are very promising.”

LAish also had the opportunity to speak with Mr. Allen himself to learn more about the man who has baffled so many health professionals.

“I mean, the things they’re asking us to do are pretty straightforward,” said Allen, who was wearing a cloth mask and maintaining a six-foot distance from others in an unusual display of safety and adherence to the law. “The way I see it, you just wear something over your face when you go out and avoid partying so that others don’t die. I know this is an unpopular opinion, but I think that makes sense.”

Dr. Martin added that while Allen’s behavior is promising, researchers have yet to establish a correlation between COVID-19 restrictions and adherence to those restrictions, prompting many experts to remain discouraged.