CULVER CITY—Local stay-at-home mother Kaitlynn Krassen expressed to numerous sources that she does not intend to receive the COVID-19 vaccine due to the sharp discomfort she feels will be brought by the needle via which the vaccine is administered. “I don’t want to get COVID, but needles are ouchie,” explained Krassen, adding that while she does not necessarily distrust the scientists, she does trust what her body says. “What they don’t tell you is that every year, millions of children and their parents suffer boo-boos from the ouchie needle, and we cannot allow this attack on Americans to persist. No thank you!” At press time, Krassen could not be reached for further comment as she was at an acupuncture appointment, which she justified due to those needles being “good ouchies.”